Overheard at My House Today

Keep in mind, these conversations took place throughout the course of the day. Each line break indicates a different time span.

Mom: "Oldest Child, it's time to get up"
Oldest Child: "I don't want to get up"
(well, I didn't either, but I really need to keep my job for a few more years, so I decided that it was in my best interest to do so).

M: "OC, I need you to pick up your school bags"
OC: "I don't want to, I'm watching TV and reading a book"
(yeah, well, don't think I asked if you WANTED to pick them up)

OC: "OMG, where's the pizza?? I only had TWO PIECES OF CHEESE PIZZA and everybody ate the REST and now I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE"
M: "Well, you chose to go to your room instead of eat"
OC: "WHY DID YOU EAT ALL THE PIZZA??"
Dad: "Look in the refrigerator, it's been put away"
OC: "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT??"

OC: "Can I please go to Girlfriend's house on Saturday and spend the night with her because word, word, word, word, lots of other words, and Youngest Child has spent the night at two houses in the last two weeks PLUS had 4 other playdates and you always tell me no and word, words, words, and that's why it's only fair that I get to spend the night at Girlfriend's house"
M: "Go ask you dad"
So she goes through the whole spill again.
Dad: "Yes, as long it's OK with your mom"
(OK, you caught us, we love Younger Child more than we love you so we let her do more stuff)

OC: "Mom, you didn't go to The Sporting Good store and buy me a pair of gym shorts"
M: "I haven't been to the store this week"
OC: "Yes you have because you went to The Sporting Good store and bought you that new shirt you have on because it's a new one because I haven't seen you wear that one before you and when you bought that shirt you FORGOT to buy me a pair of gym shorts"
M: "I bought this shirt in the spring on clearance and it's been in my closet since then"
(I'm sorry; WHY am I justifying my spending patterns to a 13-year old again??)

OC: (low growl)"Why do they have to make this stuff so hard??? (as she sits doing square root homework) I hate this stuff, I'm just gonna drop out of school!!"
(well, not so much. not an option)

OC: (at 7:30 pm) "Dad, you needed to pick Mr. Neighbor up at...uh oh...6:30"
M: "OC, what time did he call?"
OC: "It doesn't matter, Dad was supposed to pick him up but you already talked to him"
M: "Yes, we've already talked to him, but you didn't know that and you answered the phone and didn't deliver the message and Mr. Neighbor could have been sitting over there waiting on Dad to pick him up"
OC: "Yeah, but Dad already talked to him so it doesn't matter"
M: "Yes, we did already talk to him, but you didn't know that. If you're not going to deliver the message, don't pick up the phone."
OC: "Yeah, but it's Other Neighbor's fault because one time I didn't answer the phone because I thought it was Mr. Neighbor and I was gonna let the machine get it and it was really Other Neighbor because his mom wasn't home and he needed me to babysit and I thought maybe it was Other Neighbor calling from Mr. Neighbor's house because he needed me to babysit him and I could make some money because I'm broke and, like, I have no money and so if Other Neighbor needed me to babysit then I could make some money and I wrote the message from Mr. Neighbor on my hand so I would remember, I just forgot to tell you to call him."
(all's well that ends well???)


OC: "OMG, why do you always tell everybody everything"
(as Mom is rudely interrupted while talking to a girlfriend on the phone)
OC: "You just think you have homework; just wait till you get to 8th grade!"
Youngest Child: "Shut up!"
OC: "Make me"

And I will spare you the drama associated with bedtime at my house. Just start sending up prayers now.

EDITED TO ADD: OK, I thought I was going to spare you the drama of bedtime...wrong! Everyone is settled, in bed, all is quiet and everyone is falling asleep. It is, after all, 9:15. When all of the sudden, from Oldest Child's room, came a blood curdling scream. A scream like no other; a scream the definitely says something's wrong...a scream that wouldn't stop. DH and I both jumped up and ran, all the while asking what's wrong, what's wrong?? Wouldn't you know it - she was stung by a scorpion in her bed. OUCH! So I went into doctor mode and DH went in to Alligator Hunting mode. Alas, rest assured, dear internets, the offending scorpion has been rescued and is now safely in a jar. Getting Oldest Child to ever sleep in her room again, however, will not be as easy. Good thing we have a comfy couch!

You, Too, Can Be Like Me

Yes, I know you've wanted to be like me all along...now it's possible! For awhile now, I've been listening to (rockin out to) the new Monk & Neagle CD their producers sent me to preview. Guess what...yesterday it went on sale. Stop what you're doing right now, click on the link, decide that yes, you really do love their music, and run right out to your nearest Christian bookstore and you, too, can be the proud owner of this fabulous CD.

Thank you, Monk & Neagle, for making me one of the first in my town to be the proud owners of this powerful music!

People Watching

We just got home from our county fair. Actually, it's in the next county, but until we moved to the country, it was our county, too. It is an annual tradition that we load up the kids (on a school night, no less) and go have fun at the fair. While we were there, Oldest Child and Youngest Child each got to bring a friend. Being the mother that I am, I decided that it would be easier for each to have a friend than for (1) me to have to get on the rides and (2) listen to the precious cherubs bicker, fight, and argue the whole time we were waiting in line.

I did a lot of that tonight...waiting...I don't ride rides (another post for another day; but suffice it to say Dear Hubby now believes me when I tell him I get sick on rides...) and the longer we were there, the longer the lines became - imagine that. So the longer I waited. Which gave me lots of time to people watch...and people watch I did. I now realize why they call Atlanta the melting pot of the south...and I thought about how glad I am I never gave into the temptation of getting some permanent body art put somewhere on my body...and I counted all they years that have gone by since DH and I "dated" at the fair, Oldest Child was a mere babe her first year at the fair...all the years we spent in the "kiddy only" secion...until this year when she informed me she WAS 13 and had a cell phone and was capable of walking around the fair on her own (another blog for another day...) and I thought about how everyone out there tonight was having a good time.

We all want the same things for our kids. When it boils down to it, as parents we want our kids to be happy. And we will do anything in our power to ensure that this happens. Whether we were born and raised in Georgia, another state or another country, we want to make our kids happy. I saw one little Hispanic girl with beautiful long dark hair and georgous dark eyes. The precious little thing was eating a roasted corn-on-the-cob that was as big as she was...and she was smiling the whole time she was eating it!

And I thought about this post from This Ain't New York where she found a little girl in a store all alone. I constantly had my guard up tonight. It's enough pressure to be responsible for my own kids; now I was responsible or two other kids, too! And of course they didn't want to ride the same rides at the same time. My head was spinning the whole time. All these people, everywhere. What if someone were to try to take one? Mine or someone elses? I noticed myself eyeing wee ones to make sure there was an adult close by. Whether it's the mother in me or the teacher in me or the human being in me, I needed to make sure everyone was matched up. And I thought about all we've taught our girls about how not to go anywhere with strangers, and we spend 13 years teaching her...but is it enough? When do we take a step back and see if what we've been teaching has sunk in.

But tonight was a night to watch people and think about the song we learned in Bible School - red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight...Jesus loves the little children of the world.

I Told You So

Steve is on the left, Ed in the blue shirt and Clif in the yellow.

All smiles. They actually admitted to enjoying it.

Of all the titles I could have come up with for this post, this one seemed most appropriate. Early on in my child-rearing years, I discovered the joys of pedicures. Every now and then, I'll even splurge and get a manicure to go with it, but pedicures are figured into the budget every month. Every now and then, I'll invite DH to go with me because I know once he steps into the salon, he'll be hooked. But he always comes up with excuses and has, for the better part of 13 years, won.

That all changed last weekend when we went on a couples night out. You have heard me write about my friend Julie (who has twins and a 5 year old) and Lynne (and babies make six). When Julie and I took Lynne out for her birthday, we started talking about how we all liked pedicures (that's what we got Lynne for her birthday, by the way) and how our husbands would enjoy them if we could only get them in the chair. Well, that was all it took. We planned the salon, the date, the way we were going to get them out of the house, even lined up a few babysitters. The hardest part for me: keeping it a secret until the big day.

I haven't been blogging during the Christmas season, so I guess you'll have to come back...but I absolutely, beyond the shadow of a doubt, hate surprises. In fact, I loathe surprises. I even go buy all of my own Christmas presents, wrap them up, and put them under the tree because I can't stand to be surprised...yes, I'm a control freak. So in order not to tell Dear Husband, I had to totally block it all out of my mind. Then, I stayed busy all day Saturday so I wouldn't spoil it. We arrived right on time to pick up Lynne and Clif...who had decided he'd rather eat at a different resturant for dinner. Nope, notta, sorry...gotta go to Sydney's (it is, after all, strategically placed right next to the nail salon). Finally, it was time to reveal our secret (yes, the one I actually kept for a WHOLE. ENTIRE. MONTH thankyouverymuch!

The funny party was watching their faces and them realizing that yes, we were serious, and yes, they really did have reservations in seats right beside each other, and no, we weren't having our nails done, we were only watching. If one would have walked away, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum would have followed. But noone wanted to be the first to walk...so in they go. The rest is history.

But I won because Steve (and Ed and Clif) admitted that yes, he did enjoy it and yes, his feet feel much better and yes, he will be back. For someone who routinely works 60-80 hours a week, personally I don't see how he's lasted this long without one. I do, after all, only look out for his best intersts : )

You Might Be a Redneck if...

you owe the dump $2.25. Jeff Foxworthy would be proud to tell this story. Unfortunately, it's mine and it's true. Yesterday was a hectic day in my house. Oldest Child had to be at a "fall festival" (in 100 degree heat...yeah, right!) to dance, then work till 3:00, then DH and I were going on a couples night out with our two couples friends (another post for another night...have to wait for the pictures...) and Youngest Child was spending the night across the street...whew!. So while I'm walking around the fall festival with Youngest Child, DH calls to ask if I'll go with The Dude to take the trailer, filled with various and asundry junk to the dump. Of course I can fit that into my schedule today...afterall, it's only been sitting loaded on the trailer for, oh, over a MONTH now...of course I'll ride with The Dude to the dump. TODAY.

Let me just say here and now if I ever get purse snatched, the robber will get away with about $1.22 because I don't carry cash. During the week, we never go anywhere; on the weekend, I've got the ATM card to take care of everything, so who needs cash?? So as we are about to set out for the dump, I go to what's left of the cash from the carnival...$3. I go raid DH's wallet...gee... another $3...wow!...I'm up to a whoppin' $6. Still not sure that's enough to cover the cost of what we're dropping off, I ask The Dude who is single and has no cares in the world if he has any cash I can borrow until I can go uptown to the bank...you guessed it...$3. Now seein' as how I'm fitting this trip into my already crammed calendar, our bank is not in the same direction as the dump, so I really don't want to take the time to go all the way to the bank, come all the way back by the house, and then head to the dump. So all together, I'm heading to the dump with a grand total of $9.00.

As we set out, I'm trying my best to remember exactly where said dump is...I remember going there awhile back; I was driving and my neighbor was telling me "turn here", "turn there" until we were there. All I remember about the drive is that we turn right by a funeral home and that road dead-ends into the dump. OK...we're in business now. So we finally see the funeral home, we turn and low and behold, we dead end right into the dump. Turns out, the dump is about 1/2 block from where The Dude is now gainfully employed. We drive onto the scale, the Nice Lady hands us our blue card that looks kinda like the card you put in your windshield when you're picking up from carpool lanes...we go drop off our precious materials ('scuse me, I mean junk)...and we drive back around to Nice Lady so she can weigh our truck once it's empty and we can pay for the privledge of using the dump. So we get to the window and give her our carpool card, and she says, in her very southern accent, "That'll be $11.25." I look at The Dude; The Dude looks at me. I look down in the dark crevices of my purse, he digs through his pockets...I recount our nine one dollar bills (and again, come up with NINE)...The Dude asks Nice Lady if they take credit or debit cards. Of course not, that would be too simple...who goes to the dump and whips out the Gold American Express?? Still smiling, Nice Lady says, "How much ya'll have?" The Dude says "nine". Nice Lady says, "Oh, just give me that, that'll do...just remember to next time you're here to add it onto your bill". But of course, Nice Lady, absolutely, anything you say...thank you so much for giving us credit at the dump. And you can bet your bottom dollar, being the honest, down-home person I am...next time I take a load of valuables to the dump, I'll be armed with cash and will remember to tell Nice Lady to add $2.25 to my bill.

The Times, They Are A-Changin'

Oh, yes, they are...but not enough for me to have another baby. It seems like only yesterday we were bringing Oldest Child and Youngest Child home from the hospital and buying all the new, handy gadgets that came along with newborn/toddler/small children. Because far be it from me to short-change my children in any way. But in the big scheme of life, TEN years is a lot of baby inventions. I've only been over here for less than twenty-four hours, and I've already noticed so much that my kids didn't have...not because they were deprived, but because it didn't exist, or it was too new and too expensive to buy.

Case in point, these babies have a video monitor in their room that I can use for my private detective agency when I retire. It swivels, it rotates, it moves all around...all with the touch of a button...and the babies don't even notice it's there. Yes, they had video monitors way back when, but they were gianormous and had a price tag to prove it.

Also, the sippy-cups are so new and improved that they have more than one piece to the lid and this slides into that and this locks here and you slide it there, and PRESTO, you have a leak-proof sippy-cup. Only problem is, you have to know what slides where and what locks to what in order to make it leak-proof. Probably a good thing Lynne still has some time left on her carpet cleaning warranty.

And the goodies that come in "bite size, easy to pick up pieces"...if all of this had been around way back when, my girls would be healthy eaters, not junk-food junkies. Bite size this, and finger size that, and steam-while-in-the-bag veggies...who'd-a-thunk??

Where on earth was On Demand when my girls were little and all I could amuse them with after hours was Sesame Street videos. Now, all you have to do is push a couple of buttons (have to ask Oldest Child because I'm still technogically challenged...) and you can have 24-hour Tom and Jerry cartoons. Your child addicted to Dora, click the button and you can finally get a 5-minute reprive...ANYTIME OF THE DAY you want it. Dora not scheduled to come on, click the button and there she is. It's amazing, I tell you. Not, however, amazing enough to make me want to go back and start over at square one, but amazing, nonetheless.

And I thought the diaper Genie and heated wipes were up and coming. I'll stick to my memories, come over here for a sippy-cup lesson, and stay on the count down until the Empty Nesting begins, thank you very much !

DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THE BABIES!!

If you go over to Lynne's blog (and babies make six) will probably find some happy, cheery, jumping for joy mom singing Leaving on a Jet Plane, because she is off to Las Vegas for a much-needed weekend of rest and relaxation.

I, on the otherhand, will be greeted by this when I arrive at her house for the weekend.



Missing from the picture is their three-year-old "big" brother, Austin. Stay tuned this weekend for updates, SOS messages, or pictures of Austin taking care of the triple threat because I couldn't handle it...just kidding, Lynne...go, enjoy your trip, sleep till your heart's content, order room service just because you can, request dinner seating AWAY from all parents will children under 18 because this is your weekend to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Enjoy!